The names of some of the characters have been changed to avoid err…trouble.
The following blog-post has been divided into 11 chapters. Many of you have complained that its tooo~ long. You may start directly from the ‘Profiling’ chapter. For those of you who are even more impatient, jump to the concluding chapter ‘In Hindsight’. But please, please read the first two chapters first!
4th April
Change in the times of internship.
They say life is like a road with a few vital bends and long fallow stretches. After kind of a long fallow stretch in life, it feels good to have a little bit of change every now and then. It is indeed a pleasant surprise that the last 4 months of my life have been quite eventful, and thankfully so. My first visit up north to Etawah and Amritsar was like a precursor to long journeys, new friends, new faces and an exposure to fresh cultures. First the Tata Jagriti Yatra 2009, followed by a visit to Lucknow, Gorakhpur and Patna for rural electrification. A brief visit to Anand last week and here I am now, in Mumbai, having spent 4 lazy days at home, in Pune. I’m glad I finished that business plan I was supposed to submit for rural electrification. Finishing touches to a document can be a real pain. Phew.
I’ve been to Mumbai before, but have never spent more than a week here at a stretch. Even the ‘weeks’ I’ve spent here have been at very exotic locations- either on the IIT Powai campus or at a friend’s place in Hiranandani or a real kick-ass society in Borivili. For the first time, I’ve had to stay back for only 2 months, for my internship@ Mumbai. This is no mean feat. Given that most rental contracts are for a minimum of 11 months, with most of your old friends already living cramped existences at exorbitant prices, accommodation in Mumbai is quite a struggle. So when I was offered to share a flat with an elderly gentleman at a very reasonable rent, I didn’t so much as twitch an eyebrow. I didn’t know what to expect and given the kind of weird situations and people I have come across in life so far, I shouldn’t have been bothered for even a moment. But I was; bothered and anxious.
My house owner is a 73 year old chap and he’s from a generation that’s light years away. Why, even I feel quite disconnected to the 20 year olds scampering from Pizza hut to Kobe Sizzlers; from multiplexes to malls, from incessant messaging to heavy frequency Facebook updates. (God, please! Save the world from Twitter. Doesn’t matter, it’s going to happen anyway. Tweet away you dumb humanoids.) Coming back to my house-owner- he’s worked for Punjab National Bank all his life, his son and daughter-in-law are based in Bangalore. They even have another flat in Ghatkopar which means that the son is least interested in coming over and staying with his old father. The man is literally living-out his life, waiting for the end. He asked me to pay him the rent upfront and that there would be no refund thereafter. He’s stored water in his washing machine, the water tank above the bathroom, a tank above the kitchen sink and his refrigerator is full of bottles of drinking water. (It’s medicated. I have a strong feeling that it is.) No wonder then that this place is infested with mosquitoes. He doesn’t cook much food; he gets a tiffin delivered to his house during the afternoons and cooks rice at night. He says he is often not that hungry though I saw at least 5 plastic covers of rotis stuffed into his refrigerator-he’s the stingy hoarder at first glance. But honestly, I pity the guy and I have come to pity all the old folks in this world who have no one to look after them. Such is life.
Lonely wanderer that I am, I wanted to explore a bit of the place I was to spend two months of my life in. I wandered across the streets of Kandivali, to buy some stuff (Good-Night mosquito repellent to be specific) and to find out a place where I can eat regularly at night. I spotted a ‘mess’ where you get a full-fledged meal for as less as 35 bucks and that’s when I realized that I actually miss my home food. We take too many things for granted, we really do! As I strolled down the unknown streets, I spotted some amazingly hot women, dressed to kill, sashaying along the streets, often with their mothers by their side. Where the hell were these women when I was loafing around in college? Anyway, I consoled my tired, single, lonely self and trudged along, cursing the Indian conservativeness and hypocrisy. I walked till my legs started aching, amazed at the number of cars parked below high rise buildings in Mumbai, wondering how people can be cramped in vertical spaces and totally mesmerised by the way the municipal corporation has managed to sustain power and water supply to such a large number of people. Even the average woman on the streets of Mumbai has a certain sex-appeal; many rich people live in plush housing societies with and live enviable lives. Looking at them one thought crossed my mind and I’d like to end my blog with an err.. Keatzie’sm –“The only goal of some people in this world is to sustain their luxurious lifestyle and pamper their bodies for as long as it’s physically possible.” So be it. I’ve got to reach office at 9 a.m. tomorrow. Good night. Sleep tight.
5th April
The beginning
I will be more organized in life. I will be more organized in life. I will be more organized in life. Usually, I am well-organized in handling my day-to-day affairs and I am better off than many of my peers. But when it comes to my first day at office, things just have to go wrong. I have to dislike the creases on my light coloured-shirt and at the last moment, I misplace the address proof for my new mobile no. connection. Amidst all the chaos that usually ensues my first days in a new place, not to mention a new office, I rushed towards a bus stand acutely aware of the wallet in my right pocket and the cell phone in my left (beware of pickpockets in Mumbai city!) I shamelessly took a rickshaw all the way from Malad East to Malad Link road and still only managed to hopscotch into office at about 9:50 a.m. First days at office are always the same when it comes to Mr. Keats.
Nobody noticed. The proceedings started at only about 10 30 a.m. Two-three people from the HR addressed us; we were taken across the organization for a brief tour of the place. We were shown the cabins of the senior management, the editing teams, the sound teams, the packaging teams and marketing, sales and IT teams for each channel. And yeah! We all received some cool Sony merchandise which among a coffee mug, a T-shirt and other things included a personalized pen with our names embossed on the pen, notepads which had our names printed on each page, and some sealed packets which I haven’t had the time to open yet. We were allotted our desks; even our water bottles have stickers with our names on them!
I’ve been allocated marketing for Sony PIX, the channel which airs Hollywood movies in India, Rohit and Abhishek were allotted some research for SAB TV, Laxman was allotted AXN marketing, Seema was given Finance and Nikhil was allotted Syndication; Sayantika and Jasveen are with SET, I think. Now don’t ask what exactly each guy gets to do, except that Rohit gets to do qualitative research in UP for a good 10 days. Having travelled to UP about 4 times in the last 4 months, I have a fair idea of the cracking experience Mani is going to get. I envy you Mani. Grrrrr!
We mostly did nothing in office, I read through a couple of articles on National Geographic and The Atlantic Magazine. The Atlantic Magazine had an interesting excerpt of a man whose father had become a victim of old age and Parkinson’s disease but was still quite stubborn and hell bent on doing his tasks himself. The author, despite holding America’s medical infrastructure in high regards, rates America’s cultural infrastructure poorly and blames the poor state of affairs for the aged on America’s emphasis on resilience and individualism. He has also given instances of an American housewife’s state of endemic boredom and discomfiture. The article made me somewhat sensitive about the world we live in and the trauma of middle-aged adults who cannot cope with the trauma of dealing with the helplessness and stubbornness of their ageing, withering parents.
Towards the end of the day, I finally got to meet my mentor, Mr. Inder- bald, with a strong American accent. I also met a senior MICAn called Laxmikant (he prefers calling a fellow MICAn bad-blood. Bad blood? ) I met a couple of people from my PIX marketing team. They sounded quite good and ‘cool’- I’ve been asked to meet them tomorrow morning so let’s see how that feels. All in all, the place has infrastructure similar to IT companies; it actually reminded me of my old workplace and made me sad. The number of hours we donate to work and the corporate-life in the pursuit of happiness and hopefully, money is insane; the years just roll faster in such rut-routines. I stepped out of Interface building 7 wondering what to, do, when I got a call from Sujai. “Macha, where are you?” he asked. “Malad West main hai main”, I quipped, totally Bambaiyya. “Aaja ghar pe dinner karne aaja.” he welcomed me home for dinner. “ Are bas kya. Aya main 1 ghante main”, my obvious reply. There is no way I can possible deny home cooked food anymore. Staying away from home makes you keep moving, sometimes in pursuit of money, sometimes in pursuit of home-cooked food and other times to keep pace in this super-fast world. As my day comes to a close, I have only one wish- to write a book and console myself, that I invested at least a small percentage of my time in producing a work based on my inner motivations alone. Signing out!
Hasta la Victoria, Siempre!
6th April
The Working Intern
“Congratulations. You’ve just won the PPL contest held on Sony PIX. Can you please give me your name and address so we can courier your IPL match tickets to you?” Yup- this is part of my job as a marketing intern at Sony PIX. No, I’m not complaining. Every job has its share of exciting and not-so-exciting aspects. For instance, I was part of an informal discussion for the marketing strategy needed to go ahead with the Indian release of the Hollywood movie ‘The Hot Tub Time machine.’ There was a brief discussion on whether we could tie up with Jacqar to give contesting viewers a chance to experience their range of hot-tubs, or give out vouchers to renovate their bathroom fixtures. There was even a consideration of whether Fast track must be pulled in for sponsorships with the theme. ‘Don’t go back in time. Move on.’(Move on is Fastrack’s catch line). Finally someone suggested giving the winning participants a chance to visit hot springs in Thailand, Tibet, Indonesia and even Chile, but sadly Chile was dropped since the flight tickets to and from India and South America were really expensive.
I’m not too happy for two reasons today- First, that I still haven’t figured out a time-cum-money optimal way of reaching office. I didn’t sight the number 223 bus that goes to Malad link road and ended up taking an auto to office; I paid 50 bucks to reach office in half an hour. Not a bad option really, but not the best of ways to spend money. For the saved money, I could have a blast in Goa or fly to Delhi or whatever! Who wants to splurge on office commuting? Secondly, I did not show too much enthusiasm at the workplace- I kind of lost interest after 12:30 p.m and was not around when my mentor would have wanted me to shoulder some more responsibility, or so I felt. So, I’ve told myself that tomorrow, I’ll be around my mentor, be my chirpiest best and live up to the energy levels of Pihua and Jigyasa. My immediate guides are Nazar and Dinesh, their bosses are Hemant Jitalia and Inder Aaron. I am not in a position to comment on how good or bad it would be to work with them, but overall they’re smart folks with engaging personalities. The Real Madrid-Barcelona rivalry is my latest discovery in pop-culture. (Sorry, I don’t follow football; or is it soccer? In fact I don’t follow any sport. On TV that is. In real life, I play sports. In fact, I kick ass. )
On my way back in the evening, I took a bus that went to Kandivali East(or so I thought) but in fact it dropped me off at Borivili West; which meant that I had to take another bus from Borivili(W) To Kandivali (E). Some primary research gave me the idea that bus nos. 400, 209 and 703 go from Borivili to Thakur Complex. Sadly, it took me about 3 hours to have dinner and commute back home. What a lousy way to spend time on existential issues. So here I am, having spent yet another day of my life, not having worked on something concrete, something worth dying for. Just living another day, to earn some money, to search for love and to try and find the thing that will drive me to work till the last day of my life. My 73 year old house owner is watching Sony Max in the next room. IPL. We keep cribbing about TV shows and what a waste of time it is. Television is the lifeline for some people, who have nowhere left to go, who have nothing left to do and a life which they wait for patiently to let go.
Keatzie’ism for the day : We spend a vital part of our life living for ourselves, a good portion of our prime living for others, and the final leg of life’s journey living out our life, perhaps alone. It is so important to find something you are passionate about- it is the only thing that can drive you even in your final days of degenerative ageing. And yeah, bus no. 223 goes from Kandivali (E) to ChincholiBandar chowk.(Yup, that’s where my office is.) Enough for today, I am dead tired. Good night. Sleep tight.
Ya one more thing : Oliver Twist once said that ‘When bankers get together for dinner, they discuss art and when artists get together, they discuss money.’ The relation between money and art is very difficult to severe. Modern day purists should take cognizance of this. A little peek into history will help!
7th April
Fast enough for Mumbai?
If you’re not, you’ll be left behind-on the bus, on the job. You’ll be out of people’s minds; you’ll be out of all the action. If you’re too slow, stay back at home; like my 73 year old house-owner. Watch TV, subsist. There’s no place for slow-coaches on the impatient streets of Mumbai. Today was better. I spent lesser money on my travel to and from office and figured a better transport solution to save time.
I had to wait for a rickshaw for about 10 minutes at Pushpa park, but since all the autos were headed towards the station, I had to catch an auto from elsewhere. It’s unbelievable! People keep filling in shared-rickshaw after shared-rickshaw within seconds; it’s a never ending supply of people and auto-rickshaws-amazing and startling at the same time! The buses are Unbelievable – the bus driver never waits long enough for you to get into it while it’s stationary, so you hobble and scamper till you can squeeze yourself in. Once you’re inside it’s like a humane-sea. Every time the bus approaches a bus-stop, you’ll be subjected to waves of pushes-periodic and perpetual. One glance outside and you’ll find people in cars, sometimes only one person in a car. The driver is generally bored and hassled due to the traffic, but he’s alone. They say it’s lonely at the top, but sometimes the company you get below pushes you around and also stinks! Sometimes, it’s indeed good to stay at the top.
I was allotted two tasks today- first I was asked to make a ppt on a wrestling mania championship which Sony plans to introduce in India. I made a decent one, but did not get enough pictures to jazz it up. Basically, I was lazy and lethargic when it came to making a ppt. Next, I was asked to do a research on all the sporting events which will affect India from April 2010 to Dec 2010, so that the channel folks can decide on the dates to launch this wrestle mania. I am disappointed with myself; I didn’t get enough data on that despite googling. I tend to get very bored and lethargic after sitting before pc’s doing research on Google. But this PPO means a lot to me, at least in terms of peace of mind for the next one year. So tomorrow, first thing, I’m going to dump my lethargy, go fix my ppt and get some decent data for sports events affecting the country. After all, it’s my dream to mingle well with my team, do a good job and be remembered as one of the coolest interns around. Agreed, it’s a massively ambitious goal but I want to get there bit by bit; not for their joy, but for my own satisfaction. I want to safely tell myself that I am the man for any job, whether I like the job or not.
Winding up another day in Mumbai! Here is something I read at the back of a car –‘Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.’ I also spent some half an hour with my house owner, sitting in front of the TV with him. His lips couldn’t conceal a smile when I walked into the room; I didn’t talk much to him, but he was very happy that I was spending some time with him, by just sitting around. I watched the video of the Hindi song ‘Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna’ with him; it’s funny how Simi Garewal had to only nod and smile throughout the song as she didn’t have any lyrics to mime with the main actor.
Keatzie’sm for the day: If not for gadgets like the TV, my house-owner would never be able to survive! His only aim in life now is perhaps looking forward for the next interesting show on television. Doesn’t excite you much? I’m sure that it doesn’t excite him either, but life moves on. Ironically, we humans are now dependent on gadgets for keeping touch with fellow humans or passively observing the actions of others which are beamed on our TV screens. So be it! Good night. Sleep tight.
8th April
Orientation
Finally, today I was kind of well, inducted at my workplace. I will now be working with Sony Pix for their marketing activities. I have been offered a choice of activities, thanks to my guide, Mr. Hemant Jitalia. Let me quickly run through the typical job of the Sony PIX team so it can serve as a revision for me too. Sony Pix folks basically do marketing, programming, scheduling, research, PR and purchase of rights of movies for a particular Hollywood movie.
Marketing guys are typically responsible for looking out for the next opportunity to make money- either by tie-ups with malls, brands, agencies etc. Their job is to be proactive to changes in the market and come up with promotional strategies which will engage audiences, sponsorships etc. PR’s job is to create a buzz and lure journalists, the press and stakeholders for forthcoming events to ensure overall viability of a campaign or a movie. A programming guy’s job is to go through each and every movie, ensure that the logo is visible clearly, show timings, graphics etc. are working correctly etc. They are also responsible to ensure that promotional ‘trailers’ etc. are ready on time to be sent out to the programming team so that the final edited clip can be sent to the ‘on-air’ folks. The scheduling guy has to ensure that PIX movies are put into the right time slots with advertisements, promotions et al. The research guy does number crunching with TAM to give inputs as to which movies are best suited for prime time (8 p.m. to 12 a.m.) and which movies are suited for the dead slots(12 a.m. to 6 a.m. I think) etc. PR is by far sounds the most exciting of all choices as you are constantly in touch with the media; you are constantly trying to grab attention by hosting promotional events at popular joints in the city etc.
So having come out with that brief about Sony Pix, I have been assigned the task of working on making the website more attractive and working on the launch of ‘The Iron Man’ in India (launch is scheduled for 7th May.) The catch is that Sony Pix wants to host some special shows for only college kids across Mumbai, Delhi and Bangalore so that young folks can watch the movie for as less as Rs. 20 at the flash of an ID card. The idea is to reposition Pix as a young, bubbling brand which as opposed to its current positioning of a very old-styled channel which hosts only old Hollywood movies. That’s about my project. I really haven’t thought much about my project but work starts tomorrow.
Time ticks faster in this part of the world. You walk fast, you talk fast and you act fast. There are some people who can only watch you from the shadows. They can’t really hope to be where you are- the watchmen of Mumbai. There are so many of them- from offices, to flats to ATM machines, they’re everywhere, watching over your flamboyance and opulence while they live their slow, drab lives for the paltry paycheque that most Mumbaikars give out without thinking twice.
And yeah! My super boss lets out steam for everything. He’s an Indian origin guy brought up in the USA. Let’s see what it means to work with him. Overall a decent day- I must get some sleep now. Tomorrow is a better day, tomorrow’s a Friday. Sleepy now! Good night.
9th April
In the rut
One week into the job and I already feel completely absorbed in the schedule. I’m back in the mode where you spend most of your time in office, battling deadlines and worrying about deliverables. I’m officially in charge of the website- my suggestions are being considered rather seriously so if I come up with a logical, creatively feasible plan my marketing team is willing to hire the necessary technical support to provide the deliverables. I’ve even gone through the latest PIX ‘colour-scheme’ and fresh new look, to cater to younger audiences.
Sitting in a cubicle in the evening, you tend to wonder what you’re doing with your life- where all this is actually taking you and whether you’d be able to spend an enjoyable weekend with interesting junta or look forward to going back to office to work with enthusiastic media personnel. I haven’t networked yet and I seriously want to resist the temptation of landing up at a MICAn-Mumbai meet. It’s too comfortable- we all know each other too well, it’s just another setup- nothing new, nothing unnerving. But honestly, I’m clueless about what to do with my weekend in this new city, with no contacts. Hopefully by next week, I’d have made some evening plans with my new ‘network’ of people. Maybe I’ll turn up for that MICAn meet, just this once.
Keatzie’sm for the day- People go to work cos they have somewhere to go, something to do. It’s not just for the money, it takes your mind off the several thoughts which rush through your head on idle weekends. If you’re not working, you’re going out-and around. I guess I just need to hook up. Adios.
10th April
Joy
My flat is now infused with my presence- My clothes, my stuff half-organized, half-disorganized in my quintessential style has given at least one bedroom of the house a characteristic Keats-touch. Early in the morning, my house-owner and I discussed about sex in the times of 2010 and sex in 1950. He said that the society is now increasingly woman dominated, even housewives want their husbands to do half the household work, so even having a housewife does not mean that the man has more power over the woman. He had a lot to say, so I listened to most of it, while brushing my teeth or shaving, nodding agreeably all the time.
He started with the Mahabharata, Dev Anand and Suraiyya, Amitabh and Parveen Babi, and ‘incidents in the neighbourhood.’ Pretty interesting conversations- some quotable quotes of the day “ If the man is walking barefoot and his toe starts bleeding after hitting a rock, the person following him will automatically lift his foot a little higher to avoid injury and bleeding. Marriage is the only exception where even the person following allows his toe to hit the same stone and bleed as his predecessor.” “Bahut aengi aur jaengi. Pichle vali ko bhul jao”(this was specifically addressed to me). The last bit is profound, even un-cool for several of my atheist friends “People will keep saying things all the time. But if you have faith in Him, things will automatically fall in place. We must face all life’s situations and try to bring joy in them. My daughter-in-law did not give me respect; even my son is under her control. I cannot blame my son- I know the influence a wife can have on a husband; I cannot blame my daughter-in-law, she is merely a pawn in the structure and styles of today’s society. But still I am able to pull on- despite all my agony and loneliness. Even in this age I have good physical and mental balance to pull on. This is my biggest wonder- I could never have come this far without His help and support.”
Work was decent, I am a proactive man now. No choice, my boss is a cool, calm fellow but a smart taskmaster. People love to work for him, not because of his fear, but because of the charm he exudes, even during difficult situations at work. I have a meeting to attend with the web team for the PIXTelevision website. I also have to work towards setting up and establishing loyalty for the PIX club, which will increase its web hits and get people involved by means of contests, merchandise, movie tickets and even a chance to watch movie premieres and probably give suggestions to Ira Dubey and Neha Sareen on the Chicks for Flicks show( a movie review programme on PIX television. Do watch, we’ve put up videos of all episodes on PIXtelevison.com for you. Tired, sleepy. Good Night.
13th April
Student no more
Hemant, my boss didn’t turn up for work today. I however fixed up an appointment with card manufacturers so we could decide on one and provide them with the design for our PIX membership card. I was too tired to write my diary yesterday as I gave Mani company for an extra 20 min walk to say Hi to his aunty. I was tired by the time I reached home, dog tired.
Inder my super boss saw me with the marketing team, leaning back, reclining and chilling. So he just had to speak “You look comfortably relaxed. Can I get you a massage chair or something?” I smiled my best. I have done some work today, but I’m disappointed with myself. This campaign has to be up and running by the 7th of May, means we have to be ready with the website, the campaign has to be on television by the 30th at least. How? I don’t know. Plus, I have to get into Jigyasa’s good books man. I love that muh-phat girl man- I have to go out with her at least one evening. It will happen. Amen.
P.S.: I’m not smitten or in love or anything like that. I just adore that chick- it’ll be fun to go out with her once. To the good times ahead and the bad ones we’ve left behind-Cheers!
By the way, before I forget I want to make a note of all the interesting things Nazar quoted in yesterday’s meeting with our advertising agency. We plan to have a revamp of our Chicks on Flicks programme for which our ‘chicks’, Ira Dubey and Neha Sareen will be posing for photographs with Maxim, to make the programme more glamorous. These chicks also get to go to Mexico for some sort of film festival organized by Sony. For the FA cup, we plan to have a cover story about the cup describing ‘The story so far’. Sony has bought rights for Michael Jackson’s This is it, we plan to promote it in a big way by even organizing some sort of a contest where the winner gets to go to Neverland ranch, visit museums with Michael Jacksons stuff on display and even meet up with his family. Apparently, even Slumdog millionaire had some sort of a contest where the winner got to live like a millionaire for some 3 days of his life in some kick ass 5 star hotel in Dubai. We’re also planning the PIX club campaign, to lure people into becoming members, maintaining a points system where they can redeem stuff or win tickets or get points for each sms they send or no. of comments they put on facebook- PIX club members will have a separate lucky draw for each of the quizzes on the website so they have a higher chance of winning the website. They might also be selected to attend the BAFTA awards. Referral system, where the person getting maximum no. of references wins some dhasu stuff. Review a movie contest. Get discounts on Sony products.
I am drowsy. Good night.
16th April
Profiling
I haven’t written my diary in three days. Just goes to show how much I’m engrossed in my routine and how tired I get by the end of the day. On 15th I travelled with Rohit Mani all the way to Marine lines to meet up with friends and kick some butt. The butt we wanted to kick fled from the scene but nevertheless it felt good to chill at the dingy, cramped ‘Paying guest’ facility. The building is quite kitschy- one would almost feel like he’s entering into a building having paid sex on offer. Vineet and Kunal seem to be having a very good time at office. Apparently when their very-much-balding boss realized that he needed to sign some document for the internship formalities, he playfully retorted that he wouldn’t sign until the long-haired Kunal and unruly-haired Vineet chopped off their overgrowth. He made a fool of himself by asking “Do you know why I’m doing this to you?” Kunal Boppana looked straight at him and said- “Because………. you’re jealous.”
On the work front, we’ve figured out a way to bring out our PVR campaign on time and also ensure that there is a smooth delivery of the website irrespective of the PIX club campaign deadline. I prepared a requirements document for the online application which I foolishly saved incorrectly. I lost some of the points I jotted in word but it’s ok I remember them so I’ll just type it again. I got to sit with Hemant on one of the negotiation meetings with Priya from PVR cinemas. It’s felt a little strange to see them fighting over my logo will be here and you give me money for your logo on that poster or this trailer. Damn, I didn’t know they’re so particular about logos.
Pihua has moved over to the fourth floor as HR and Suneeta, Inder’s official assistant has rejoined office- she was hurt during the Pune bomb blasts. Nazar had taken a day off for his birthday, Jigyasa has gone over to take care of her ill father and I happened to glance at Inder ferociously going over his tasks for the day.
It’s time to do a little character sketching of my team members. Starting with my college senior Laxmikant Raju who is like a scared rabbit when he’s working in his cubicle with Inder around but the bubbling conversationalist over the lunch table. He always has some tales to narrate about his memories from college ragging, Amaltas, Boogie man and the Placement Committee, of which he was a member. He can dramatize anything and everything, he’s active on Facebook, Twitter and listens to ‘Jango’ radio online. Let’s get straight to the point- presenting some Laxmi’isms.
The gent’s washroom on the 3rd floor has two doors ;you open one door, step in and then open a second door to enter. While entering I casually asked him, “Why the hell do they have two doors here?” He gave his trademark smile and said “So that you’re doubly sure, maybe. Ha ha ha.”
The second instance goes thus. At the lunch table Laxmikant passes some deadly PJ and Pihua is all irritated with his ‘slow thinking’. And then Laxmikant, offered her his clean spoon and said “Here Pihua, you can kill me with this.” Instead, Pihua scares him by threatening to stain his shirt with her used spoon. To this Laxmikant retorted “Hey, at least give me a clean death. Ha ha ha.”
The following story is courtesy Laxmikant. There’s this guy called Keval, poor guy he has to switch two trains and come all the way from Vasai. To reach office at 9:30, he leaves home by 7:30. Then one day, as he was sitting alone in his cubicle. Inder walks in and asks “Hey you! What are you doing here?” Keval, scared as shit didn’t know where to look. He muttered something under his failing breath. Inder asked, ferociously “Hey, can you talk, huh?” Silence. After a brief pause Inder asked again “Which planet are you from?” to which Keval quickly replied “Vasai.” Don’t ask me how Laxmikant managed to control his laughter. From what I hear, Laxmikant was one of the scariest ‘Placement Committee’ members of his time. In his own words, he’s a scared placecomm member now.
Hemant Jitalia- Son of an army officer, Hemant completed his education from Delhi university. After this he worked with MC Cann Ericsson for about 2 years, followed by another 2 year stint with Fosters. He then worked with Leo Burnett for almost 1.5 years and he’s been with Sony PIX for 4 years now. How do I know this. LinkedIn. Remember, Big Brother is watching you? The internet has ruined your privacy.
I am eternally indebted to Hemant for giving me the opportunity to work on a hands-on project and not a painstaking research project. I’m doing my bit- at the end of my internship diary series I will have completed a successful PIX movie club campaign and would have revamped the website to my satisfaction and theirs. Amen. Hemant has this constant smile on his face, whether he’s been pushed around by his boss or when things have spiralled out of control. I had only one off the cuff interaction with him. He was asking me about the other interns. I told him about the interns from IIM-Lucknow, IIM- Indore and one intern from Symbiosis who has given 2 CA exams, 2 CS exams and is simultaneously pursuing her MBA. He shifted uneasily in his seat and said “Dukh hota hai mujhe jab log inti jyada mahnat kar lete hai. Ultimately it all boils down to money na? Kitna kama loge mujh se jyada? Pachas-sath hajar mahine ke? Aur uske liye itni mahnat? Not worth it.” (Smiles his trademark smile). Few Hemant quotes :
“Us vendor ko pahle hi side main kar lo bhai. Life main overcommit karne walon se mujhe bada darrrrr lagta hai.”
“Bhai yeh PIX club aur website tumhara project hai samjhe na. Isko seriously kar lo. Nahin toh pata chala do mahine ke end main kuch bhi nahi hua. Fir lag jaegi.”
“Mujhe chahiye fatafat kaam karnewala aadmi. Yeh nahi ki kal hoga, parso hoga, aaj nahi. Ye Indian mentality pata hai na, wo nahi chahiye mujhe.”
“Budget? Budget vudget nahi hai bhai! Tum apna quote do”
“Yaar. Yeh bada lamba process hai. Bahut shit-shat hai ismain.”
Jigyasa Randhwa- This woman for some reason refuses to look me in the eye. All chirpy and bubbly with a killer dressing sense she works for the PR wing of Sony PIX. She’ll abuse you over the phone, spice up every sentence with attitude and loudly discuss her evening plans with ‘frenzz’. “Ya ya. I’m cool with anything ya! Drinking or anything. Oh, she’s also coming? She’s toh one aunty ya. Ten O’clock in the night and she starts yawning. Him? Oh Ya! I’m the CEO of the Shan worldwide fan club ya! He’s so cool. I don’t know why she’s thinking so much. Shaadi thode hi karni hai yaar!” The first ten minutes of her day, Pihua and Jigyasa discuss her earrings, her dress and what not. The final minutes of the day, Dinesh and Nazar crack jokes at her expense and tease her about some ‘hottie’ Gaurav who sits on the second floor. Jigyasa being Jigyasa cracks comments like. “Yuk. He’s such an uncle ya! Anyway he was my hottie only for one day,ok? ” In Laxmikant’s words Jigyasa spends most of her words ‘saucing around’ which is an euphemism for ‘dicking around’. And I have received strict instructions, “Tu kisi se bhi panga le. Par Jigyasa se panga MAT le.” I look down and silently try to digest that statement- I’d in fact, I’d love to take some panga with her. Jigyasa does not like other people’s stuff on her side of the table and so “Whoever keeps his stuff on my side of the table, buys me lunch.” ( I won’t mind doing that once ) Whenever I leave office, I make it a point to say bye to everyone- Jigyasa never looks away from her pc but nevertheless obliges with her trademark “Siyaa”.
Nazar Khan-My immediate mentor, Nazar is a cool headed fellow who, I think, takes life as it comes. He’s worked previously with advertising agencies like Lowe Lintas and has travelled to villages in Uttar Pradesh, something which first helped us break the ice. Not many share our wanderlust bug but Nazar Khan is one step ahead. Apparently, when he goes on vacation, he simply hitches a ride in the first truck that comes his way, gets down on the highway before they reach city limits and hitches yet another ride till he reaches an unknown village. Having travelled 18 days on Tata Jagriti yatra and backpacked for journeys to Etawah, Amritsar, Gorakhpur and Ratnagiri all alone, I thought my traveling was crazy enough. But Nazar’s escapades have humbled me completely. He can come up with ideas, he is capable of thinking long-term; with what he calls as vision. He also does a very good job of briefing agencies, maintaining good relations and building trust. He comes up with a lot of jokes, but I still haven’t come across any quotable quotes. He is a self-proclaimed connoisseur of porn, he loves the MAXIM magazine(so do I) and his jokes hint around sex. He’s good at taking peoples ‘case’. He had no qualms about narrating an incident where he was interrogated at the Mumbai airport for his flight to Singapore simply because his surname was ‘Khan’. I wondered how people with a similar religious background deal with such kind of a situation because everything is smooth in the corporate environment. Outside it’s different. Some Naz quotes
“Delay…..mat karna.”
“I haven’t gone through your mail yet. I will definitely be going through it and I will revert back to you.”
Dinesh Kotian- Our man, a Mumbaikar from Mangalore is very good looking, has a very good dressing sense and an unshakeable passion for watching and playing football(unlike many who just sit back on couches and follow the game tensely). He is a man of few words, keeps doing something on his pc all the time and coordinates with vendors. He has an undying fan in some lady who ogles at him each time she sees him, so much so that Mr. Dinesh blushes. I’ve only ever seen him taking Jigyasa’s case once in a while but otherwise he is silent. He has his trademark mosambi juice for lunch every day and has previously worked with Citibank, so he’s not averse to a little jhol that needs to be done every now and then. Plus he’s kind-at a very short notice, he obliged and sat with me for a meeting with a credit card manufacturer. I only wanted Dinesh to sit because that card fellow thought I worked for the admin.(Admin?? Wtf) I needed an unknown face to sit and go through his product portfolio.( The credit cards were lousy anyway. Admin??)
Pihua Chakraborty- Pihua is pretty and well spoken. She claims to be much older than me and the fact that she has put on weight in the last two months. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t know that I’m 26 and there is no way she has put on more than 200 gms, she’s that slim! An atypical Bong, Pihua Chakraborty completed her graduation from Kolkata sometime back and I think she worked with Jet Airways for a while. She’s one of those smart chicks- you have to ask her the right questions, she won’t reveal herself to you. Anyway, she keeps teasing me about the quality time I spend with Seema, one of the interns from Symbiosis Bangalore.
There are few more team- mates I couldn’t elaborate much on because of my limited interactions with them. Megha and Aakriti, who work with programming and are generally very busy. Megha greets me with weird ass expressions and I’m more than happy to respond with equally weird-ass ones. I’ve only seen Aakriti in a full-fledged carefree mode when she said “Shake it baby” and did a little jiggle. I love Sony PIX- you can be yourself. Then there’s Sandeep, who is generally quiet and goes about his work, Swaroop whose exclamations of “O fuck, Print out le liya?” keep popping out every now and then. I haven’t had a chance to talk much to Tanya, we simply nod and acknowledge each other’s presence every now and then. Lastly, there is one mysterious girl who sits next to Suneeta. I don’t think she is in the PIX team…
Last but not the least entrez Inder Aaron.
Inder Aaron is an American of Indian origin. He completed his graduation from Washington University and after three years also did an MBA from the Michigan Buisness school in 1994. He’s been in the media ever since. He’s spent some 8 years at Sony and holds a very high position in the organization.( LinkedIn, LinkedIn. Big Brother is watching you. You were warned..) I haven’t interacted with him much but some quotable quotes.
During my inital 3-4 days, I didn’t really have much to do. I was sitting in front of a printer waiting for Laxmikant to arrive. Inder walks in from behind and says out loud. “Hey give this guy some work. He’s just sitting here staring at a printer doing nothing.” I looked back and mumbled “I’m waiting.”. “For what?”, he asked. “The printer to give out a page?” Honestly, I didn’t know where to look.
On another occasion, I was sitting with my team with my chair well-reclined waiting for Nazar to tell me about something. In walks Inder saying “ You look comfortably relaxed. You want a massage chair or something?“ I smiled my best. That, now is my defence mechanism against him.
With that, I come to a close of the profiling bit. Otherwise life is good. Mani and I still walk back from office to Malad station savouring chikki’s and that ‘pisss’ thing that we got once. ‘pisss’ is a delicacy made from pregnant buffalo’s milk; you can only make it when the buffalo is pregnant.( I know how the name sounds but that’s what it’s called. Can’t help!) Mani will be going for an 8 city trip of UP, I helped him a little with his itinerary but my boss called me mid way through our discussion.
21st April
Lost in transformation.
This week has been super hectic, to say the least. And I was too full of inertia to give a day by day account of the time I spent in office. I had meetings with a few web teams, people who were willing to work with us-one of the web developing companies were, I think plain intimidated to work with our organization.
I watched a very boring play at Prithvi theatre and on my way back from the theatre to Ville Parle station, at about 11:45 in the night, I walked past an array of cheap Mumbai prostitutes who waved cheap handkerchiefs at my face hoping to gain my attention, and sell their services. It was scary- none of them were good looking and they seemed hardened by all the rough treatment they were subject to. Roughened to a point where nothing could violate them anymore. Wednesday, there was an IT raid on office. I could’ve left immediately but I had to stay back to give away IPL tickets to the winner of a contest held on PIX television. He was to come collect the tickets only by 4 and they were locked in my personal cabinet. Thursday was not so exciting- I wrote write-ups for our web team, sat in a meeting with a web development team and went to meet a friend at Bandra, Carter road. This was also the week when I sat through a meeting where my marketing manager ripped apart a vendor for Outdoor advertising for certain slip-offs from their end. This was also the week when my house-owner scared me out of my skin- he was talking about how Sant Dnyaneshwar had gone into a samadhi and that samadhi is nothing more than glorified suicide- in a samadhi the person is closed in a cave by his devotees/followers and he stays there till he is dead. (It didn’t occur me instantly but was he perhaps hinting at going the samadhi way??) Anyway turned out it was mere talking and he didn’t intend on departing for heavenly abode urgently.
Inder Aaron, my channel head was kicking some ass this afternoon during the weekly meeting. In an outburst of calculated anger, he blurted out the following :
“I will put your ass in a jar and shake, shake, shake it like this.” (There were about 25 people in the room and the ass in question belonged to the entire marketing team. No one dared question him about the practicality of his claim; ass in a jar??? There were a few stifled laughs though; obviously they were not marketing)
“If, but ,perhaps are all elements of fate”- The opening lines of the play I watched.
To sum it up- I don’t feel like a student anymore- 15 days into internship and I am lost-in transformation.
(Date unknown- concluding chapter)
In Hindsight
I was very busy keeping pace with the super fast Mumbai life. Obviously my diary writing went for a toss. So here I am penning down what I can remember most of my Mumbai experience.
–
The ’Iron Man’ screening slated for the 7th of May as part of the PIX Movie Club was postponed. Instead we went ahead with the Prince of Persia on the 28th of May. Pihua Chakraborthy, as it turned out was indeed older to me- she’s 33 but she doesn’t look a day older than 26. Ok 27 at max. (how I know her exact age is a different story 
)
My fear of pickpockets was not unfounded- my beloved Sony Ericsson K790i was expertly flicked from my trouser pockets while I was commuting by bus. I was lucky to have kept my wallet in my bag. But after I lost my phone, I had a rough patch at my internship- I missed a few things while multitasking incessantly. It made me push myself harder making notes of everything in my diary and striking off all the tasks for the day. Overall, to sustain media marketing, you need to be fast, a good negotiator, assertive( even aggressive at times), be able to sustain contacts over a long time. Last but not the least, you need to look and smell good at all times of the day. (It’s an unsaid rule, but yeah, the rule exists. People actually carry their deodorants to office.)
Neha Sareen and Ira Dubey, the chicks on Flicks ladies always came in super glamorous avatars for their weekly Thursday shoots of the show. It’s not uncommon to see the spot boys ironing out their short skimpy outfits outside the shoot-room. They both are super weight conscious- I remember them joining us for a birthday celebration. Neha refused to eat the cake; she instead kissed her piece of cake and gave it to the birthday boy. (I don’t think he was impressed by the gesture.)
During the difficult days of my internship I made a not-so-healthy diary entry: I cannot make the entire entry public so here’s the edited version:
The great loss
Duh! Pick pocketed in Mumbai, a rough week at PIX, and an even slower recovery! It’s a job. Just a job; and life, as always is calling from afar. Where am I? Stuck in this office- trying to please my boss and peers, hoping to earn enough money, get a promotion and have fun. Like everybody I want to keep moving with great speed hoping that I have the strength to carry on without a hindrance, a break or a speed bump.
Global warming, quality time, time for yourself, the pursuit of literature- all this fades away in the face of money. Sorry boss, you’re caught in a rut. Like everyone else. So consume ye all misbegotten curs. Consume the comforts of the material world. May the end be quick and may it come soon. We shall all drown in the fury of Mother nature. At least we’ll die in swank cars and plush buildings. Who wants to be swept away like the mice and ants? We’ll die like humans- pinging messaging, making last moment calls and giving final goodbyes on webcams. Here’s raising a toast- to all of us-on the Highway to Hell.
(The above entry is a bit crude, but I wanted to keep it the way I’d written it in my moments of disappointment.)
Overall, I made quite a few good friends during my internship. My fellow interns were a good fun-loving bunch of people though not everybody enjoyed the job assigned during their internship stint. It’s fun working for a media company. Almost everybody is smart and well-off, there is a clearly marked out hierarchy and everybody kind-of knows his ‘place’ in the organization. Surprisingly, many of the media people are religious- I know for a fact that three people in my team are God fearing; one of them even says a little prayer twice- once when he comes to office and once while leaving for the day. Media is good provided you fit in well.
Finally, the time had come for me to leave my paying guest arrangement in Kandivali. It was a comfortable accommodation just one station away from the Sony office at Malad. As for my abandoned house owner- his children perhaps didn’t know that he had a paying guest in his flat. Once, his son had come visiting from Bangalore. As usual I tumbled into the house at 11 in the night to see this man sitting on the sofa with a glass of whiskey in his hand. He was shocked to see me and in a state of confused anger he blurted “Who are you? How did you get in?” I recognised him from the photograph in the living room. “I’m a paying guest here”, I said rather indifferently. There was a moment of uneasy silence. Obviously I was not going to give up my bedroom for this ‘son’ which meant that he would have to spend the night in the hall. But what the hell, he didn’t even have the decency to send his father enough money in the first place. (He’d reached the place only 10 minutes before me and the first thing that occurred to him in his degenerating home was a glass of whiskey? Who does that?) Turned out that father and son had agreed to some kind of truce and the son was to join him in the month of June, after I’d completed my internship. On my last day in Mumbai, my house owner was all sentimental, I guess he didn’t sleep the entire night and the moment I woke up to pack all my stuff at 4 in the morning, he came into my room, wide-eyed and anxious. It is then that I remembered the days when I reached home early from office only to find him lying on a swing in the hall, staring at the ceiling. My mere presence used to lift up his spirits. He was physically incapable of travelling long distances and perhaps all that was left with him was a memory of his life that had gone by. During the last week of my stay he had arranged for the house to be repainted so his son’s family would walk into a freshly coloured and cleaner house. I’d like to quote here some of the things he said to me as part of our daily conversations.
“All my life I spent for the well being of others. Even during the final leg of my life, I am overlooking the painting job of the house for my son and his family to come over and stay comfortably. I tell you, my son is a lucky bugger, a shrewd fellow. Sitting in Bangalore, he is simply instructing me on how I should go about the painting job here. Like a fool, I am listening to him too.”
“But you must have had some exciting times in your life”, I’d asked him once. “No. I know you won’t believe it but for some people the exciting time never comes. Your generation is far more fortunate in that regard.” I never knew what to say to this. But his resilience was unshakeable- he still had four kinds of home-made chutney, ate only home-made buffalo ghee, used to religiously walk for half an hour everyday and somehow infuse humour in our daily conversations. After I finished packing, I gave him a PIX coffee mug, an AXN diary and a pen. I never saw him happier. “This will remind me of you”, he said looking at the mug. “And maybe I should write about my life in this diary. It’s a good way of staying occupied. Thank you for everything Sukumar. I enjoyed your company in this house.” I touched his feet and shook his hand. “Ayushman bhava” he’d said after placing his hand on my head. I looked at him for a while. He didn’t have any more to say, so I moved my bags out one by one. Goodbye Mumbai. Good bye Sony Entertainment. Good bye Mr. Karandikar. Till we meet again.
-Keats Sukumar
